I really struggled to find a topic for this month’s blog. I would start writing, delete, change sentences and start over with a different topic all together. I told myself it would be okay to post the blog after my usual deadline. I continued to search for recent or current situations that would inspire me to write, without any luck.
As I was making last minute tweaks, for the 100th time on my website, preparing it for D-day, I heard myself saying a firm “ENOUGH!”
I had to come to terms with the fact that it would never be perfect, no matter how many times I changed this picture, reworded that sentence, or modified this title. Funny enough, one of my drafts had been about the ability to release in order to take action. What I like to call being OK with imperfections (my greatest ordeal since forever!).
I reminded myself that nothing I present on my site is finite, I can always make changes as I progress on the path of sharing my brand, and relaunch as required. So, where was this obsession to make my site perfect coming from? I know, you know and we all know that perfection does not exist.
I have been preparing this moment since 2014, and probably beyond that. Every year, pushing off the date of the launching of my website. Each time setting new objectives, “failing”, being flexible, releasing, meeting with potential web designers. I even bought a domain name that I never used. And, finally, I decided to figure out how to do it myself.
I found the motivation, somewhere, to just do it.
As I wrote in one of my drafts:
“[…] As I prepared to publicly share my website with my family, friends, colleagues and an undetermined amount of unknown individuals – I recognized how long it took me to arrive here. Here being that moment in my life where I can accept that I am less than perfect and that not everyone will like my website, or me for that matter […]”
… and that’s OK. The goal is to like ME and present my information based on integrity – not what I think people would want to read or hear me say. As a great coach once said: “Do not write for others, write for yourself” – thank you Sura, this was great advice that often comes back to mind in those uncertain moments where I am not sure what direction to take.
Deciding to be vulnerable a.k.a. to be less than perfect is a quest for me.
I am often reminding myself to breathe, to be gentle and to be. I have reflected on “what does being perfect mean anyway?!” – It often means being accepted, appreciated by everyone, presenting flawless work. In other words, my website would have to give a “wow” effect to everyone who clicked on the link. Impossible.
Then it happened. I received a less than perfect comment and I saw how in that moment, I did not shut down and start a negative rampage of how I should not have a website. I stopped, paused and reflected on the comment. I accepted the constructive words that would definitely support me in making the site better; and, then I recognized that my friend was representing the people who might not resonate with my message, my brand, me. How I would respond became critical because as we step into our authentic, true Self – we allow ourselves to become vulnerable, naked. However, we are also slowly able to recognize that who we are is not defined by others. Who we are is defined by us.
I received a less than perfect comment and I saw how in that moment, I did not shut down and start a negative rampage of how I should not have a website. I stopped, paused and reflected on the comment. I accepted the constructive words that would definitely support me in making the site better; and, then I recognized that my friend was representing the people who might not resonate with my message, my brand, me.
How I would respond to feedback became critical because as we step into our authentic, true Self – we allow ourselves to become vulnerable, naked. However, we are also slowly able to recognize that who we are is not defined by others. Who we are is defined by us.
<3 MMtH
