I made the decision a long time ago that work had to feel like play, and I’ve made sure that it does. It’s been a solid four months since I started living and working in New York City and overall, things are running smoothly.
However, translating that same conviction to my love life has been a bit more challenging. So I really understand my clients when they struggle to believe they could ever find a career they genuinely love!
This month, I’ll share my experience dating in NYC and how finding my ideal partner required me to take the same steps you would take to find a career you love. I hope my journey will help you get inspired to pursue the life you truly desire.
So what happens when you’re looking for LOVE in NYC?!
The common discourse out here is that it’s SO HARD TO DATE IN this city … and, maybe it is.
But I had to wonder, is that the hard truth, or just a longtime held belief?
To find out, I began by setting my intention.
I believe that in every area of your life, you need to choose your minimum standards (i.e., the “non-negotiables”). I define non-negotiables as everything you believe is necessary to feel nourished (i.e., anything that has to do with your well-being, happiness, and personal satisfaction). These standards will be different for each and every one of us because everyone is UNIQUE and has UNIQUE desires.
In my case, the first step was to get clear about what I wanted in an ideal partner. It took some reflection on my part, and the courage to say exactly what I wanted, even though I knew some people would be negative and tell me that my ideal partner doesn’t exist, especially in NYC (true story).
I had to reflect on my past relationships to identify what I liked, and what I would prefer not to attract. And then, I wrote it all down, made a list, made a commitment to myself, and chose a specific timeline.
I encourage you to follow these same steps when you’re ready to find a career you LOVE.
Here are some of the steps we can take to find what we’re looking for:
- Get really clear about what you want. Whether it’s the “right” partner, or the perfect career, you have to get clarity;
- Work on your mindset, so you’re comfortable saying YES to what your heart truly desires. This also includes letting people know what you’re looking for, or simply that you’re looking;
- And finally, take action!
We need to act to get what we want. Being a spectator in our lives doesn’t usually lead to the desired outcome. It leads to something else — more disappointment, a rash decision, another disaster date, or another “not so great” job.
If you want the perfect partner and/or the dream career, you’re going to have to actively participate in the process.
So, I decided that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than fun dates. After all, dates are a preview of the relationship. A fun first date is more likely to translate into a fun relationship with someone I enjoy spending time with, who enjoys similar activities as I do.
And overall, out of 10 dates, only one was an awkward disappointment.
So how did I end up having fun dates in a city where women outnumber men, and superficiality seems to be the norm?
- I got very selective about who I said yes to going on a date with.
- I followed my gut and didn’t pursue anything that felt off, even if I couldn’t logically explain what was wrong with an online picture or a conversation. It was just a feeling, and I chose to trust it 100%.
- I didn’t fall into the belief that being too picky was a bad thing. It empowered me and guided me in knowing when to say yes, and when to say no.
You can be just as picky in your search for the ideal career.
- Get picky about which positions you apply to.
- Only say yes to job offers you are genuinely excited about – if you’re not excited, trust yourself that a better offer is around the corner.
- It’s OK to be picky when you’re ready to find a career you genuinely LOVE
I want to encourage you to get excited about finding a career you love. To say YES to the career your heart truly desires! And to trust that once you say YES to what you really want, and you decide to pursue it, doors will open in places you can’t even start to imagine today.
So, while I look for my ideal partner in NYC, you can look for your dream career.
Inspiring YOU to Live a Life you LOVE!
Priscilla
