Thirty-five was a big year for me.
It’s the year I panicked.
It dawned on me. I was a year older, but felt I had nothing to show for it a.k.a. no marriage, no kids, no car and no house … oh and let’s not forget, no permanent job.
I can’t recall how I managed to calm myself down and to recognize that all was good.
Everything was happening perfectly
I had my personal goals and not only had I accomplished a lot, I had experienced even more: I lived in four cities since graduating from University; completed two Masters in the time span of 5 years; worked at two universities even though upon graduation I was told it would not be possible; lived overseas; developed an amazing workshop; and, so many other great things. However, my greatest accomplishment has been the self-exploration that led to my ability to tap into ME.
In the last 3 years, I defined who I am, what my values are, and how I want to express myself in this world. I finally gave myself the permission and freedom to be ME. So now, I’m the only one who can define what my goals are and what I consider as a success.
It’s not a one-time thing.
I am continuously redefining what’s important to me. Exploring and learning who I am and who I do not want to be. I am slowly discovering when I am giving in to what will make someone else at peace versus my inner peace; where I need to set boundaries regardless of someone else’s desires; what’s me, what’s society.
I have redefined life. I decide to bring meaning to it and choose actions to avoid the monotony of everyday life. Because the monotony used to be a result of someone, somewhere who said that “this is who you should be, and what you should be doing in your 30’s”…
Watch out for those “should’s” they tend to be “dream crushers.”
So here I am, turning 36, stepping into the end of my mid-30’s and recognizing that I can redefine what that will look like, and what that means for me, in my life. And, I’ve decided it’s perfect just the way it is.
